Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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