i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My vagina is officially offended.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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