I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
it glows. i had to have it.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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