Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
