i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
