I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
