Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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