dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
