Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
false alarm, still single
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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