i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
