Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
