are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
