i will never coherently bang her
is wine microwaveable?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
