i jhust puked up my retainher.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
