I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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