If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
