she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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