I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
