I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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