My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
