Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
