Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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