i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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