Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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