Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
