this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
