did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Let's get the cat blown out
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
