I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
