Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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