I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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