Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
