holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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