even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
