Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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