hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
