If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
