He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Found your dick twin last night
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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