His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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