ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
