Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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