On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Also, beer. Big fan.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
