If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
