i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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