If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
