i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
40s are totally the cure
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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