u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
