absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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