Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is Oprah even human
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
