I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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