he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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