totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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